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Review--GI Joe: Retaliation

4/3/2013

 
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by Brian LeTendre

First, the good news--GI Joe: Retaliation had a very good first weekend at the box office, taking in over $40 million. It also has done very well internationally, as its been the biggest international release this year so far. 

Overall, the movie raked in $132 million since its opening, clearing its $130 million production budget and paving the way for the movie to be profitable. So, there’s a good chance we’ll be seeing another GI Joe movie in the future.

Which brings me to the bad news--GI Joe: Retaliation is not a good movie. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be a great movie, but I expected a major leap forward from the first one, and this movie is more like a few baby steps forward. It’s better than Rise of Cobra, but not by much.

The plot of Retaliation is so ludicrous that it makes the cartoon look like it was grounded in reality. The basic story is that Zartan is impersonating the President, has most of the Joes executed, frees Cobra Commander and then they try to blackmail the world. Sounds cool, right? The problem is that it feels like that sentence was the entire script the director was working from. Everything from the dialogue to the flow of the scenes is very clumsy and awkward. Even the giant ninja fight on the mountainside that you saw in the trailer is a disappointment.

The worst parts of the movie are the tacked-on extra scenes with Channing Tatum’s Duke that were likely filmed after the move had been completed and Magic Mike made him a household name. At least, I hope they were filmed after the movie, as they feel completely off from the rest of the film.

For me, the best part of the movie was Ray Stevenson’s (Punisher War Zone, Thor) portrayal of Firefly. That guy is just awesome in everything. He seems to be having the most fun of anyone in the movie, he gets the coolest toys to play with, and he ends up being much more of a villain than either Cobra Commander or Zartan, who are both underutilized throughout the movie. It’s like he was the only one outside of The Rock that knew he was in a GI Joe movie.

I know it sounds like I hated this movie--I didn’t. It was a fun action movie, that featured some moments of greatness (the final fight between Roadblock and Firefly being my favorite). But overall, Retaliation feels like a waste of potential. I’m really hoping that if we get a third film, the creators go all the way and truly embrace everything about the franchise. I want to see Trubble Bubbles. I want Tomax and Xamot, a lot more Cobra Commander, and I want Joes wearing their signature costumes, for crying out loud. 


And one more thing--I want MacArthur S. Ito. Snake Eyes can sit the next one out.

2.5 out of 5 Lack of Quick Kicks


TREVOR
4/2/2013 10:26:07 am

I can't believe I haven't seen this movie yet. The Joe fans on Hisstank.com seem to like the film. Anything is an improvement from rise of cobra. The third film was green lit yesterday.

2.5 quick kicks is about what i was expecting out of this film. I just need it to be good enough to encourage hasbro to pump out more toys!

Armand
4/2/2013 10:43:52 am

I think you offer a fair review of the movie. Ray Stevenson was a great cast for the role of Firefly, despite the fact that he's a hulking figure - much unlike the comic book character. He was easily my favorite in the movie (and that's hard for me to say since I am a huge fan of Ray Park and Snake Eyes).

While I believe there will be another film in a few years, someone with emotional attachment to this franchise needs to take the reigns and make this movie what it should have been all along: fun, action-packed, featuring characters we can connect with/care about, and a story with a reasonable degree of believability. These past two movies were huge disappointments (though Retaliation is better than the first).

Very few franchises offer up such colorful characters as G.I. Joe -- and these past two movies have been so dumbed-down and different from what we've come to know and love from the Joe Universe - that they almost feel like they are based on some other property. It's as if Hasbro doesn't give a cr*p any longer and are simply looking for the quick buck. Screw the fans, praise the almighty dollar! There is a level of fan-expected quality from these films, and they are unfortunately falling far too short.

A reboot will be needed sooner rather than later.

Mitch Hallock link
4/2/2013 11:15:44 am

I done liked it. Things blew up real good!

Bill Catellier
4/3/2013 11:37:46 am

I haven't seen the film, BUT Quick Kick had only two good moments ever. 1- getting best up in the cartoon by Stormshadow 2- dying in the Marvel book. Cannon fodder.

Brian
4/3/2013 08:41:14 pm

Your words hurt me, Bill. Quick Kick was always my favorite Joe.

David Anderson
4/3/2013 10:36:42 pm

For those who have seen the movie, an over 20 minute interview with the director. You will continue to wonder how the movie turned out bad. http://www.slashfilm.com/filmaid-broadcast-part-6-jon-chu-director-of-gi-joe-retaliation/


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