MOVIES AND TELEVISION
6-17-08: Turok Son Of Stone DVD
Turok is the tale of a Native American (New Mexico region) who as a teen had a bit of trouble. He, his brother and Catori (the love interest of young Turok) were ambushed by a group from another tribe. After Turok momentarily goes into a killing trance and takes care of the rivals, he almost takes the life of his own brother. For his lack of control, Turok is banished.
Years later, Turok’s former tribe (now led by his brother) is massacred. The only survivors are Catori and her son Andar, Turok’s nephew. Now this is where the story gets real good! The trio ends up in a cave that leads them to an underground world complete with dinosaurs, mutant cavemen and a tribe of dino fightin’ Native Underworldians. After proving his intentions, he now becomes a member of this tribe despite the fact he wants to go home and will do everything he can to find his way.
The DVD is a surprise and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The story is close to the Gold Key comics I read (as reprints when I was very young) and was very entertaining. It had it’s moments of predictability, but it IS a cartoon. The animation, especially during the fight scenes, is very anime influenced and sometimes seemed a bit out of place. Most of the characters are a bit over the top, but again, it IS a cartoon and this is part of the charm. Voice work by Adam Beech, Irene Bedard and Cree Summer is very good and fit the characters and their actions. The story was written by Evan Baily and Tony (Exiles, Legion Of Super Heroes) Bedard with the screenplay by Bedard. Former Disney producer Tad Stones was the supervising director.
This DVD may have had its moments of cringe, but it is thoroughly enjoyable and a great escape. But be warned, it’s very bloody and no suitable for the young ones. I found this out the hard way!
Matman rating – 3.5 out of 5 dinosaur parts!
5-13-08: Speed Racer Review
by Sarah Hodge-Wetherbe
Even before I knew what anime was, there were a few animated series I used to watch as a kid that made a big impression on me. Voltron of course, was wonderfully cheesy and edited but was my first look into the giant robot branch of the art form, Robotech introduced concepts and ideas I had never seen in an animated cartoon before, and Battle of the Planets was my first exposure to the theme of the Super Sentai group.
Speed Racer however has always held a special place in my heart. The dialog was cheesy, the dubbing set up anime for years and years of jokes (anytime most people imitate anime it’s in the“OhgoshIhavetohideinthemach5andhelpseedwhenhegetsintotrouble…ooorh?” tradition.) Trixie was the absolute worst example of what a girl should act like (Helpless, Fickle, and always complaining), and the storylines were completely predictable.Yet somehow, I still loved it. There was such a sense of fun, of absolutely cotton candy abandonment to it.
So it was with excitement and a little dread that I headed for my local theatre as soon as the new Speed Racer movie hit the screens. The fact that Andy and Larry Wachowski directed it made me nervous. I loved the first Matrix film, but felt like I had been beaten up and mugged after sitting through the sequels. I had heard that the Brothers W had called this their “first family film” and somehow that just made it worse.So the question is: Did they succeed in capturing the 1966 series. My not so humble opinion: Yes and No, and they couldn’t have succeeded any other way.
Lets be honest, a live action carbon copy of the old show simply couldn’t work without being a straight out parody. Do we really want to watch Trixie fawn over Speed, see a cuter guy, fawn over him, and then go back to Speed only when he wins the race? I think I can speak for comics loving women everywhere when I say “No thank you, unless you’re looking to insult my whole gender.” Do we really want to have the single-minded bizarre dialog from the original series where the kid can only think about winning, at the expense of everything? No, it gets boring, and it makes Speed unlikeable.
Instead the brothers take what still makes the old series fun (Thrilling car races) and mix it with more modern tastes. Pop Racer is blustery but loving, and never pushes the blustery part too far. John Goodman’s look is perfect, and he controls himself well to be funny, but not too over the top. Mom Racer, as played by Susan Sarandon, is a little bit 1960’s housewife with her Donna Reed costumes, and her ability to make huge quantities of sandwiches. But we also see her working in the Racer shop on a car, and her tenderness and pride in her children surprised me into wet eyes in one scene. She blends a gentle and loving side, with a more independent side than Mom in the original cartoon, and the blend works.Sparky, the Racer families assistant and pit mechanic is played by Kick Gurry, who is a fairly new actor on the scene. His take on Sparky is a lot different than the earnest young kid from the series. He comes off as a kid of goofy but sweet Steve Irwin of engines, a kind of side kick that is bumbling in some situations, but completely in control when he is in his element.
Trixie is no longer the flighty “girly-girl” of the cartoon, but rather a smart and sweet young woman who’s able to hold her own. Her relationship with Speed is shown to go back to their childhood, and she is loyal to a fault to her beloved. Rather than fickle, she stands by her man to the point of putting herself in danger (and doing a good job in getting out of it) to help him. All is not sweetness and light, there is a scene where the two bicker a little, but its more for the fact Speed is worried for her, than a shallow and pointless argument over his winnings. All in all, their relationship is well balanced, and realistic, while having a real feel of an iconic romance. Christina Ricci does a wonderful job of bringing both toughness and a cuteness to the character.
Spritle is the one real loose cog in the film. He’s cute, and Paulie Litt does manage not to be too annoying. But the character was always the weakest link, and here he shows it. He’s a kid’s slapstick character in a film that isn’t really a kid’s film. More on this in a moment.
Matthew Fox’s Racer X is pretty bland and deadpan through most of the movie, but it works because that’s the character: broody, mysterious, and all business. Near the end, when he takes off the mask and talks to Speed, an amazing warmth and humor finally can shine through. The switch is natural and endearing, and he handle’s both sides of the character well.
Of course, we couldn’t have a movie without Speed himself. Emile Hirsch handles the character with a charming blend of naive eagerness, determination, and a little tiny touch of angst all blended together well. He’s likeable, and his motivation for racing is changed. He doesn’t race to win because he wants to win. He races to win so he can keep racing. The race itself is the point. Here is the nicest change in the series. Not competitive thought, but the idea of doing what you love for itself. Mom Racer compares what Speed does to art. It’s a beautiful idea, and one that I think society needs to hear badly.
He also races to protect his family in the course of the plot, and that’s where things get dicey.
Before we get into the plot of the film, we have to talk about Roger Allam in the role of Royalton, the corporate tycoon that wants Speed for himself at all cost. He is wonderfully over the top and Tim Curry-like when he’s in evil mode, but in the start of the film when he comes to the Racer Household pretending to be a sort of “Your Favorite uncle” to lure the Racers into signing with him, the sweetness is too false. You can’t picture intelligent people falling for the act. Still he is delightful when he lets it all go loose and bad, and starts ranting, raving, and smashing ice sculptures.I also have to give a small tip of the hat to a small role in the start of the film. The older announcer during Speed’s first race is played by none other than Peter Fernandez, the voice of the original Speed Racer in 1966. It’s a moment of pure fanboy(girl) Wink-wink delight, but it was a thrill to see the original Speed have a role here as well.So the cast is well chosen and delivers well.
That’s only half the story however. Without a story, great actors can’t do much. The basic plot starts off simple: Speed is winning, bad cooperate guy wants him on his team to win and make company more valuable. Speed says no, Bad man goes about destroying Racer family business on and off the track by cheating. Speed needs to stop him.With me so far? Okay good. Racer X and the police show up and ask for speeds help exposing bad man as a cheat. And then….I have no idea what happened except for the end…….Even lost, I got the gist of what was going on, but the details flew by faster than the computer generated cars. Here we find the brothers first shortcoming….too much information. This isn’t the Matrix, guys. This is a movie about fast cars, and we don’t really need to know all the corporate-political trappings. It drags the movie down somewhat until you’re lost in it, or just decide to watch for the races themselves.
The Brothers also said they were making this as a family movie. I don’t know about you, but family usually doesn’t mean huge gun battles, or a man's finger getting eaten off by a school of Piranhas in a tank. Granted, no one is actually shot, and the fish-eating scene is mostly unseen (Although there is blood in the water of the tank). People are beaten up and thrown out of moving cars, Kung fu fights break out. I’m no prude, but I wouldn’t take any kid under the age of 10 to this.And yet we have Spritle gorging on candy, and wandering around the bad man’s factory with Chim Chim on his shoulders in a long lab-coat to look like an adult, and Chim Chim flinging poo at a villain. It’s like the brothers couldn’t decide if they wanted to make an action film for adults that loved the show, or a kid’s movie. Most of the kids stuff is eye rolling, and the action stuff is far too violent for a child. It gives the film several weirdly uneven moments.
Still as a whole, the film works in the sense that its fun eye-candy that’s well acted. If you can get past the convoluted corporate subplot, and just ignore Spritle, it’s a lot of fun. The races are all in mind blowing colors, with visuals that scream by you. Its hard to see who is doing what sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not the point. Your watching a hot wheels race on a full sized scales, with tracks like often look like roller coasters. If you can here for a deep story, you’ve come to the wrong film. If you came to see a cartoon come to life, then you’ll sit back and enjoy your popcorn, and come out cheering. You might not know exactly everything that happened in great detail, but the big picture is full of swoops and bright colors. Sometimes, you just need to see a film like that. And you will be singing while you leave.
Come on; let’s practice now, along with me:
“Here he comes
Here comes Speed Racer
He's a demon on wheels
He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone
He's gainin' on you so you better look alive
He's busy revvin' up a powerful Mach 5
And when the odds are against him
And there's dangerous work to do
You bet your life Speed Racer will see it through
Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer, Go!
He's off and flyin' as he guns the car around the track
He's jammin' down the pedal like he's never comin' back
Adventure's waitin' just ahead
Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer, Go!”
3 Life-Size Hotwheel Tracks out of 5
5-5-08: Iron Man Review
by Brian LeTendre
Iron Man is an important movie for Marvel. In addition to being the first movie that the company has produced since forming its own studio, the movie is also based on a character that is not as well known to the general public. As opposed to the X-Men or Spider-Man, Iron Man was not a guaranteed success from a box office standpoint. Throw in a relatively unproven director in Jon Favreau, and a 43 year old Robert Downey Jr. as the lead, and Marvel had a lot of questions to answer heading into opening weekend.
So, how was it? In a word, triumphant. Iron Man is a movie that represents that perfect storm of producing, casting and directing that results in a truly great experience. From the opening two minutes that jolt you out of your seat, to the final line of dialogue in the movie, Iron Man is a great ride. Mainstream audiences learned what fanboys have suspected all along, that Robert Downey Jr. is the perfect choice for Tony Stark. He is so good that form here forward, comic writers will have to live up to his performance in the monthly books. Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrance Howard and Jeff Bridges prove that if you cast real actors in supporting roles, they can elevate the whole picture. The best examples of this are the scenes that Paltrow and Downey Jr. share, through which we see just how much Pepper Potts and Tony Stark care for each other by what they don’t say, but merely imply in the looks they give each other and the moments they share.
The special effects are great as expected, and fans will have a tough time determining CGI from practical work. The cinematography is excellent as well. There are Raimi-style pan outs during the hostage scenes, and all of the action is framed in a way that conveys the violence in the story, but manages to walk the line of a PG-13 rating.
The story itself takes Iron Man’s origin, mixes it with the Iron Monger story from the early 80’s, and updates them both for 2008. Jeff Bridges’ Obadiah Stane evolves into the main villain, shaped somewhat by the choices that Tony makes following his kidnapping. The final confrontation between Iron Man and Iron Monger is satisfying, and showcases the excellent effects work.
For comic fans, however, the best parts of the movie are the nods to comic lore that are everywhere. Favreau as Happy Hogan. The S.H.I.E.L.D. logo in the parking garage. Rhodey looking at the second armor suit and saying “Next time, baby.” And let’s not forget the giant teaser after the credits roll that will have fans salivating at the possibility of what is to come.
Iron Man deserves to be in the discussion regarding “greatest superhero movies of all time.” Where it sits on your list is up to you, but it would be hard to argue against putting it at the top.
5 out of 5 Shellheads
4-5-08: Battlestar Galactica - He That Believeth In Me
by Matman
Following last season’s lackluster stories and drawn out plots, last night began the final season of Battlestar Galactica. We start where were left off; the remains of the colonial fleet and the human race are cornered and pinned down by the Cylons. But just before the Cylons deliver the death blow, they pull away. Once they leave, the story goes with it. Despite the lack of alcohol, Starbuck is typical in her behavior; angry and fighting a war outside the cockpit. We last saw Apollo leading the legal battle against Baltar and where is he now? Telling his dad he wants a change of career. Funny, being on the verge of extinction, I didn’t know they had openings in the legal department. Last seasons big reveal has turned four characters (two once incredible supporting characters in Chief and Sam) into whiney liabilities. Will every episode contain the four looking at each other saying “I can’t believe I’m a Cylon”, and then be followed by uncharacteristic behavior? And knowing this is the final season, we know the ‘final reveal’ won’t happen until the last episode.
But all was not lost! Last season Baltar was involved with drawn out plots and became a shadow of his former self. This season, he looks to be the most interesting character with the most promise for growth and self destruction. His Jim Morrison meets Jesus transformation is exciting and sets the stage for a showdown of power. Can his followers (most who are hot girls) assemble enough to disrupt the quest for Earth? Has Baltar fallen into an exploitable situation or could he be the Messiah that brings man and machine together.
Overall, the season premier was good, not great. It was a vast improvement over most of Season Three, but if the show is going to be character driven, we need to care about the characters again. It seems that every situation and dialogue is a clue that will point us to the final Cylon. Place your bets!
3.5 out of 5 Cylon Detectors!
3-19-08: Justice League New Frontier DVD Review
by Sarah Hodge-Wetherbe
To say that I was excited about this DVD release would be a terrible understatement. Ever since reading Darwyn Cooke’s wonderful work in the 2 volume 2004 graphic novel edition, I have loved the very idea of this story. When I first heard last summer that an animated film was being done, February couldn’t come fast enough for me. Now that its arrived, was it worth the wait?
I’m very happy to say yes. Yes, it was.
To properly explain why, let me talk about what the Graphic Novel did for me first.
You see, I like Gritty comics. I like Frank Millers “Batman: Year One”, and I’m not one to turn away from serious things in my “funny books”. But as much brilliant storytelling that’s come out of the more adult nature of recent books, many comics folks seem to forget that in order to be a hero, a person must have hope. You cannot stand against the dark unless you believe there is light on the other side.
Part of me misses the Superfriends, Linda Carter as Wonder Woman, Chris Reeves as Superman. There was the real idea of heroics in those stories, the hope of change and better things.
I’ve wondered for a long time if there was any way that my longing for some of that youthful hope could work beside the realism of how dark things can get sometimes. Can that little girl I was, and the woman I am, find ground between them?
Yes. Darwyn Cooke’s brilliant work lead me right to the promised land.
In the DC Miniseries “New Frontier” Cooke gives us a story starting in pre-Vietnam war America where the golden age superheroes ruled. He presents us with slightly altered and streamlined versions of the origins of the silver age heroes as well. As America moves into the war in Vietnam, and heroes find that what they believe and what is reality is not often the same thing. Superman must face the fact that America is not always right, or even the good guy. Wonder Woman forsakes “Mans World” in her disgust at the policies of the administration. The government begins to jail any hero not working directly for them. Martian Manhunter, stranded and pretending to be human, watches in horror at the prejudice and hate of the Civil Rights conflict.
And yet, the book is full of the silver ages hope. All the heroes band together with the military to face a menace that might destroy the world. And in this we see the bravery and goodness of people, when they are inspired to do good.
All the heroes here are given their moments, and Cooke stayed true to the core of each personality. But for me, the heart of the book was always Martian Manhunter. He isn’t the most important hero (Really there is no “Important Hero” as each character has a place in the larger picture). But to me, J’onn is the mirror here. He looks at us so we can look at ourselves. When he sees how hateful and terrible people can be to those unlike us, I felt ashamed. And when he sees the best of humanity, and comes to find he has hope that mankind will strive to follow its better nature, I felt hope myself.
So, it was vital to me that they carried this over to the film, and I am happy to say that I was not disappointed.
Much of the film is streamlined, and I was sad to see some things missing. But they were things that were understandable to cut. My biggest gripe was that wonder woman’s role was diminished. I think she too had an important role in showing a character caught between her heritage, and her duty.
Having said that, the truth of the core of the story is still strong. The meaning of what is being said here is still true. When Hal kills in the Korean war, you feel his pain. When J’onn is making his choice to try and return to Mars because he feels he can never be accepted, you feel the weight of that fact. And when the heroes face the battle at the end, there is such a sense of determination, of unity to defend what is precious; it makes one almost want to jump off the sofa.
The voice work is well done. I was very impressed with Neil Patrick Harris as The Flash. He has just the right combination of insecurity about himself, but honest goodness. Miguel Ferrer as J’onn J’onzz has a wonderful strong, yet gentle quality to him that fits the character perfectly. I was most surprised by Brooke Shields as Carol Ferris, who made the character tough but sweet, and extremely likeable.
My favorite moment in the film, as in the comic, is the last few moments where we hear the voice of John F Kennedy speaking his New Frontier speech, as images of superheroes and villains that match the ideas are shown. In the book, this made me tear up. In the movie, it made me cry openly.
The magic of both the graphic novel and the film, is that it gives us the hope that even with our worst mistakes, even in moments where the darker part of our natures rear up, we too can choose to become more than that, to embrace hope and change and become something better together. We in fact, can be our own superheroes.
Any work that can remind us of that, is a classic.
5 Martians Pretending to be Dick Tracy out of 5
3-9-08: Spectacular Spider-Man Review
by Brian LeTendre
As a huge Spidey fan, I had a mixture of excitement and anxiety in anticipation of the new animated series that debuted this Saturday morning on Kids WB. Ten minutes into the first episode, however, I had a huge grin on my face and felt like a ten-year old again. Spectacular Spider-Man is exactly what it should be—funny, fast-paced, and accessible to kids and adults alike.
Spectacular has Peter Parker as a junior in high school, less than a year after he was bitten by the spider that changed his life. All of your favorite characters are here: Aunt May, Flash, Harry and Norman Osborne, Kurt Connors, as well as a couple of surprises. Gwen Stacy is Peter’s gal pal, not MJ, and Eddie Brock is actually a friend of Peter’s, who is a couple years older but also a science geek (in a jock’s body). All in all, it’s a mix of fresh and familiar that comes together really well.
The animation is fantastic. A mix between the Batman and Johnny Test, it’s different than any style we’ve seen in a Spidey cartoon before. Different is better in this case, however, as some of the animations of Spidey in action are the best there has ever been. Don’t believe me? Go back and watch some of the web-slinging or the combat scenes. This is truly Spider-Man brought to animated life. Throw in Spidey’s signature humor and a new theme song, and you’ve got the total package.
The debut is a double header, with the first episode featuring the Vulture (played by an always great Robert Englund) and Elector. The two episodes together do a great job of introducing you to the Spideyverse, showcasing the Daily Bugle, the high school, and Peter’s internship with Dr. Kurt Connors. The relationship between Peter and Aunt May is also weaved through both episodes, and it doesn’t feel stale (like in recent comic incarnations).
Overall, Spectacular Spider-Man had a great debut, and I am expecting great things from this series. I’ll be sidling up next to my four-year old daughter every Saturday morning as we enjoy the new adventures of my favorite hero together.
5 out of 5 Timeless Heroes
2-12-08: Rambo Review
by Brian LeTendre
Sly, you’ve done it again.
For the second time in two years, Sylvester Stallone has returned to a fizzled franchise and returned it to respectability.
Last year, it was Rocky. This year, we get Rambo.
The last time we saw Rambo was in 1988, when he returned to Thailand after battling the Soviets in Afghanistan. This is where we find Rambo when the fourth film opens. A group of missionaries want Rambo to transport them up the river to Burma, where they plan to bring medical supplies and aid to the war-torn area. You can probably guess that it is not long after he drops them off that they get taken prisoner during an attack on the village they were in. Then it’s Rambo time.
I’m oversimplifying the plot, but it’s not the plot that stands out so much in this movie as the execution. Sylvester Stallone co-wrote and directed the movie, and he puts together an unflinching and brutal picture about the civil war in Burma and the atrocities the people face at the hands of the military. And when I say unflinching, I mean it. Men, women and children are brutalized as entire villages are burned to the ground.
By the time Rambo agrees to help a group of mercenaries rescue the captured missionaries, you are ready for the bad guys to get their comeuppance. And they do. Brutally. The last act of the movie is filled with enough carnage to make ten Saw movies. Rambo alone probably kills 70 people, with everything from a bow to a machete to a .50 caliber truck-mounted cannon that rains death upon enemy soldiers.
The movie does a great job of never letting the violence become cartoony, and never letting the audience get comfortable with it. This is done through the reaction of the missionaries to what is happening around them. They react like normal people would react, not like Rambo and the mercenaries, who are almost numb to the reality of the situation. The result is that you are rooting for the good guys, but you realize that no one is really winning in the end.
The end of the movie provides some closure to the series, and a fitting end for Rambo. Much as he did with Rocky, Stallone has provided a worthy chapter for the franchise to close on (although I already hear rumblings about another sequel).
So, in conclusion, go see this movie.
5 out of 5 Returns to Respectability
1-21-08: Cloverfield Review
by Sarah the Anime Librarian
After the months of hype over the internet, and following the online marketing campaign the question “Will Cloverfield Live Up to the Promise?” is finally answered.
And the answer is “Yes, if you remember what Cloverfield was promising: A Godzilla meets Blair Witch film.”
Now I’d like to start off by saying if you DID follow the online marketing with all its fake company websites and mocumentary style news reports you will have some more information to make some guesses based on. But we have no more solid info than the average Joe that just walked into the movie. So if you didn’t chase around JJ. Abrams' Scooby Doo challenge you’re not missing anything vital.
As a fan who did though, I say it was fun and it did add a little to the experience of watching the film.
For anyone not paying attention for the last 7 months, I’ll recap briefly.
Cloverfield is the story of a group of people whose surprise going away party is interrupted by a giant monster attacking Manhattan. The crux of the movie is their attempt to find a friend trapped in her building, and then escape the island before the government declares all the attempts to stop the creature useless and bombs New York City into the ice age.
This is a monster movie that truly knows how to tap into the deep-seated dread in the national psyche after 9-11. Rather than exploiting the imagery, they use it to great affect in the tradition that Godzilla was inspired by the atomic bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima.
But it would not work if that was all it was doing. It’s also an effective and tight suspense film. I can’t call it straight out horror, although it has some horrific moments, but the film-makers knew very well how to use the limits of the choice of POV filming to their full advantage.
The big monster is mostly shown piecemeal, and it works. Slowly we get the idea of what it looks like, although we never know what it is. We are given aerial views of it to complete the picture in cleaver ways, and the smaller parasite creatures are just terrifying. They swarm and act like insects.
The POV filmmaking is the movies best and worst asset. Some people will find the camera work jarring, and annoying (if you didn’t like it in Blair Witch, you wont like it here) but it also gives us the sense of being with the main characters, and heightens our own feelings of vulnerability. In the end that’s what makes this movie work. We are in the middle of something terrifying and horrible, and there is no rhyme of reason to it. It simply is, like an earthquake or a hurricane. We and the characters are the little guys with no power to stop it. The moment in the subway tunnels when they get the night vision function on the camera to work is, in my opinion, one of the best horror shots in film history.
The dialog is natural, but some will find that annoying. There’s a lot of “Dude, did you see that?” back and forth, but then that’s what you’d find on a video on YouTube from a disaster scene, and that’s what this movie is going for. On the same note, the 20-somethings that surround the Statue of Liberty's head snapping cell phone pictures makes it feel all the more like we really are glimpsing a true story.
There were some aspects that despite the fantastical nature of the story did threaten to pull me out of my suspense of disbelief. They can be overlooked for necessity to the story, but still did stand out.
The characters have been running around Manhattan for hours, and yet manage to run up 30-something flights of stairs in a building with very little effect other than stopping to catch their breath at one point. And several characters who are very very badly hurt, still manage to run around with no ill effect.
Maybe because I am a woman, but I also kept wondering why the girls in the group were continuing to run around in high heeled shoes/boots. Plenty of abandoned stores to grap a pair of Nike’s and slip them on quick (In the time that it takes Rob to find a cell phone battery for example). No one could last that long, running, climbing, etc. in heels.
These are hardly horror-movie flaws unique to Cloverfield but because they are presented in such a realistically shot movie, they stand out more than in your average Wes Craven film.
My biggest complaint is a tacked on horror bit that covers what happens when the smaller parasites bite you. It’s a kind of Violet Beauregarde meets Aliens effect that is very horrific, but comes out of the blue. No one in the film gets an explanation of why anything is happening, but this twist felt like a tacked on gore effect simply placed to get rid of a character, especially because it only happens to one person in the whole film. (Although the medics do seem to know something about what’s happening, as they drag the affected patient into quarantine screaming “We’ve got a bite!”) It seems to imply that whatever is happening to the bite victims can spread from the victims themselves, but it feels very out of place in a “What else can we do just to gross them out” way for a movie that’s already got plenty of horror that feels right in the story.
This is not a film for everyone, but if you liked the feel of Blair Witch, and you’re open to a new kind of film making, you’ll enjoy it.
Tips for watching the film:
(1) Stay till the end credits. There’s an audio surprise.
(2) In the end scene when the camera tape goes back to the Coney Island date a month before, watch the sky in the background. You’ll get the most solid visual clue of where the monster came from yet.
(3) For folks that did follow the online campaign look for the Slusho appearance at Rob’s party and the guest passed out on the sofa (Hint Hint: Jamie Loves Teddy!)
4 “Giant Monsters Crashing Surprise Parties” out of 5
1-11-08: Death Sentence DVD Review
by Keith Gleason
Director James Wan (Saw, Dead Silence) proves that he is more than a horror director with this inspired, gritty, revenge movie. Nick Hume (Kevin Bacon) is a normal, loving father until his life is torn asunder when his son is brutally murdered in a random gang initiation. Nick becomes enraged with the justice system and decides to take the law into his own hands, even though his world is slowly being ripped apart. What sounds like a pretty basic premise is weaved into gold by Wan. He has painted a masterpiece of loss, despair, and revenge and how it is sometimes not always a dish best served cold. The movie craftily recreates the seventies vigilante features, such as Death Wish and Mad Max.
The real gem of the movie is Bacon’s performance. He plays Hume as a normal guy pushed to the brink of madness and never comes off like a Bronson or Seagal clone. There is even a moment in the movie when Bacon is preparing his guns and he has an instruction manual on the table that he is flipping through to figure out how to load them. This film definitely earns its “R” rating for the depiction of violence and sometimes distrubing scenes but the violence is never glorified in the film, which is a hard thing to accomplish. There is also a very exciting chase sequence that is breathtaking and marvelously shot. James Wan has become one of my favorite directors in recent years and it’s nice to watch him grow as a filmmaker. It makes me thankful that he never got stuck making Saw sequels.
5 out of 5 Shotgun Justices
1-5-07: Shoot 'Em Up DVD Review
by Brian LeTendre
The short version: This movie kicks seven kinds of @$$.
The slightly longer version:
Director Michael Davis has crafted 1.5 hours of absolute mayhem in Shoot ‘Em Up. Imagine an Oreo cookie that consisted of no cookie whatsoever, just creme filling. Clive Owen stars as Mr. Smith, a guy who’s minding his own business when trouble finds him. This trouble comes in the form of a pregnant woman in labor that’s being pursued by some nasty gentlemen that want to kill her. In the first five minutes we get a major shootout, a baby being born in the middle of the shootout, the mom getting killed, and Mr. Smith deciding to protect the infant from the bad guys. That’s about as much story as you need to get you through the next 70 minutes.
Admittedly inspired by movies like Hard Boiled, Shoot ‘Em Up is filled with ridiculous stunts, spectacular gunfights, and some very witty dialogue. Paul Giamatti matches Owen with his cartoonish portrayal of Hertz, the ruthless killer who wants the baby and Mr. Smith dead. Monica Bellucci is the prostitute that Owen enlists to help care for the baby. There is a larger backstory, but you don’t need to care about it, as the action is self-explanatory.
Fans of movies like Crank and Smokin’ Aces will absolutely love Shoot ‘Em Up, because it takes the action and gunplay to another level. Clive Owen is great, and after SinCity and Children of Men, he has proven he can pretty much do anything.
The DVD has some cool extra features, including a documentary that is broken up into several parts. Through the interviews with Davis, Owen and Giamatti, it’s immediately apparent that these guys had a blast making this movie.
Shoot ‘Em Up is a great ride and a must-see for action fans, particularly those who enjoy Hong Kong style gun fu movies.
4 out of 5 Carrots to the Eye
12-31-07: 3:10 To Yuma DVD Review
by Matman
Westerns are a hard genre. Both comics and movies follow a formula that is time tested, but not necessarily a crowd pleaser. Pacing is deliberately slow and characters and situations can be predictable. So when a movie like 3:10 To Yuma scores a couple of big stars like Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, you know the filmmakers are looking for something else to get folks to buy a ticket…or rent!
3:10 To Yuma is the story about a Civil War veteran Dan Evans (Bale) who is having a hard time making it as a farmer in the deserts of Arizona. When he and his sons stumble upon Ben Wade (Crowe) and his gang robbing a stagecoach, their two lives become entangled. When Wade is captured, Evans decides to accompany him to Yuma fro the fee of $200.00. With this money, Evans will be able to get his debts paid and his family in a better situation.
Russell Crowe’s portrayal as the dashing villain is flawless. Well read and charming, he has moments of renaissance quality then a scene later, kills a man by jabbing a fork in his throat. Don’t worry…he deserved it! Christian Bale does little to resemble the slick and handsome Bruce Wayne of Batman Begins. He’s a man who struggles for respect and is living a bit of a lie. It’s amazing to watch Crowe and Bale work off of each other. Their dialogue and character interaction makes this movie what it is. Ben Foster as the psycho Charlie Prince is the sidekick you love to hate. Every time he’s on the screen you want to punch him, but you can’t get enough of him.
3:10 To Yuma is a faithful remake of the Glen Ford classic that is one of the 5 best westerns ever made in my humble opinion. Clocking in at a few minutes under two hours with some nice extras on the DVD, this is a nice way to spend an evening.
5 out of 5 Fork Victims
12-30-07: AVP-R Review
by Brian LeTendre
Aliens vs. Predator-Requiem (AVP-R) is the sequel to the 2004 film that many fans of both franchises were very disappointed with. This movie starts off literally right after the last one ended, and attempts to right the ship of a franchise that has so much unfulfilled potential.
The basic story is that the last remaining predator from the first movie was impregnated by the aliens and gives birth to an alien-predator hybrid. This hybrid causes chaos on the predator ship and it crashes back to earth, turning the hybrid and a whole bunch of other aliens loose in a small Colorado town. A beacon goes out to the predator homeworld and they send a “cleaner” to earth to kill all the aliens and destroy any evidence they or the predators were ever there. As you might imagine, the inhabitants of the small Colorado town get caught up in the eventual showdown between the aliens and the predator.
After seeing the red band trailer for this movie, I thought it was going to be an absolute splatterfest. Turns out, you saw most of the kills in the trailer, and the movie doesn’t move nearly as fast. Pacing is really the downfall in this one. After starting out with a bang, we get 30-40 minutes of character development that wastes a lot of time, but never results in you caring about any of the characters. There are no real shining performances here, and even Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle Dessler from 24) fails to do anything as the military mom trying to protect her daughter from the chaos that descends upon the small town.
On the bright side, this movie definitely earns its ‘R’ rating, as the kills are pretty brutal and there are lots of them in the last third of the movie. The predator dispatches his alien foes in a variety of ways, and the humans that get caught up as collateral damage provide some good moments as well.
The main fight between the hybrid and the predator was a good but short one, and the door is left wide open for a sequel.
AVP-R more than makes up for the first movie in the franchise, but if there is a lesson to be learned from this movie, it’s that no one cares about the character development of cannon fodder. Here’s hoping the next entry into the series stops focusing on the humans and gives us the no-holds barred throwdown that we’ve all been waiting for.
3 out of 5 Face-Huggers
12-24-07: Hatchet DVD Review
by Brian LeTendre
I have been waiting to see this movie since November of 2006. I had the good fortune to meet Mr. Kane Hodder at last year’s Big Apple con in New York. For those that don’t know, he is the most famous of the guys to put on the mask of Jason Voorhees, and widely regarded as the best. He’s also a veteran stuntman and has a grip that crushed fanboy hands into fine powder.
After we reminisced about our favorite kills in the Friday the 13th movies, Mr. Hodder informed me that his next project, a little movie called Hatchet, was the best movie he’d worked on in a long time. At that point, the movie was slated for an April 2007 release.
In reality, the movie only saw a limited theatrical release in the fall of 2007. I didn’t realize that it just got released on DVD until I passed it on the shelf at the movie store and almost fell over.
Hatchet is the heartwarming story of a young deformed boy named Victor Crowley. He and his daddy lived out in the Louisiana bayou (a few blocks over from Brother Voodoo). As you might imagine, young Victor was not popular with the other kids, and they frequently tormented him. On Halloween night, a few of the kids stood outside of Victor’s shack of a home and threw firecrackers at it, trying to scare him out. They unwittingly set the shack on fire with Victor trapped inside. Victor’s dad came home and tried to get through the flaming door, but he needed something to break it down. So, he grabbed a hatchet, swung real hard, and….hit poor Victor in the face as he was leaning against the inside of the door, killing him.
Fast forward several years to a group of twenty-somethings (and one old couple) taking a “haunted boat ride” through the bayou. Unfortunately for them, young Victor Crowley has returned from the dead as a deformed, hatchet wielding psycho. You can probably guess where things go from there.
While the plot may be very formulaic, the movie is a lot of fun. The dialogue between the characters is smarter than your average b-movie, and you even start to care a little about a few of them before they are eviscerated. And boy do they get eviscerated. The blood flows freely in this one, as Victor rips arms, legs, heads and spines from his victims. There is even a scene (which Mr. Hodder told me about) where Victor rips open a woman’s head like he was popping the top on a can of Schlitz. The effects are of the practical nature, which makes all the difference in the world, as digital effects rarely come across as believable in movies like this. I prefer my blood to be made with Karo syrup, not with Windows XP.
There’s also plenty of nods to horror fans, capped off by cameos from Tony Todd (Candyman) and Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street). Mercedes McNabb, of Buffy fame, plays a soft core porn actress that almost makes it through the movie…almost.
The only real shame is that the DVD itself has no extras, save for the unrated cut of the movie.
The door is left open for a sequel on this one, and I think the series has potential. Hatchet is a throw back to the good old slasher movies of the 80’s and it’s about time we had a new icon in the genre.
4 out of 5 Robert Englund Cameos
12-23-07: I Am Legend... the Review!
by Matman
I know why people have issues with I Am Legend! It’s not the action packed / end of the world / zombie flick it’s marketed as. It’s pacing is slow and its vision is very singular. Now saying all that I’ll tell you what I Am Legend is; a great film about a man’s solitary journey in a dead world. Will Smith has to live with the fact that he’s all alone except for his dog, Sam. As a military virologist, he has seen tragedy come from triumph. A cure has been found for cancer, but the cure ends up being a virus that kills 90 % of the earth’s population. The rest mutate into vampire like monsters that can only come out at night. What is fascinating to watch is how Smith’s character reacts to his isolation. He treats his dog as his child and sets up mannequins at his local DVD store, even playfully flirting with one (in the adult section of course). Smith is driven by the fact that everything he does (hunt, survey, search) must end before the sun begins to go down. He is equally driven to find a cure for the creatures that roam the night.
The special effects are pretty eerie. Seeing places in New York City that are very familiar to me covered with grass and wild animals (as the walk in Time Square) was a bit hard to process. The creatures are scary, not anything memorable... but they didn’t have to be. Watching the military try to evacuate Manhattan, and blow up the BrooklynBridge to contain the virus was well done and very emotional. On the audio side, Bob Marley’s positive music and message provides a conflicting side to the death and chaos all around, but I think that was the point!
Overall, this was an enjoyable film. Could it have used more action? Sure. Scarier monsters? Absolutely. But I think the filmmakers were looking for something a little different. It works more on emotional storytelling than visual presentation.
3.5 out 5 stars! One star for each time I cried. The half for a little whimper!
12-20-07: Live Free or Die Hard Unrated DVD Review
by Brian LeTendre
Well, I finally got around to seeing Live Free or Die Hard on DVD. Being a fan of the first three movies, I was bummed when they decided to go PG-13 with the latest installment, and made the decision not to see it in the theater. I was excited, however, when I heard the “super unrated as-it-was-meant-to-be” version was coming out on DVD, so I picked it up. After watching the movie, I’m left with just one question:
Where’s the beef?
On the surface, the latest entry into the franchise has all of the Die Hard staples. Big gun battles—check. Lots of explosions? Check. Nefarious plot that poor John McClane happens to get sucked into against his will? Check. Unwitting sidekick or person that John has to protect? Check. There’s even a part where he jumps a car over a toll booth and takes out a helicopter in mid air.
Sounds great, right?
And it is pretty cool. There’s plenty of action, things move relatively quickly, and for the most part, just seeing Bruce Willis in the skin of his signature character is enough to give this movie a pass.
But it’s not Die Hard.
First, the villain. Timothy Olyphant as Thomas Gabriel. I realize some people like this guy, but he’s far from menacing, and instead of an evil mastermind, he comes off as a whiny computer nerd who’s mad at the world because “they didn’t listen to me.” Big whoop. My wife never listens to me. Thomas Gabriel is not worthy of the pantheon of Die Hard villainy.
Then there’s the PG-13 thing. Even with the unrated version, you can’t help but feel like there are punches being pulled throughout the movie. To be sure, the unrated version features more blood and some f-bombs, but they just feel forced. Case in point, there’s a part where McClane gets one of the bad guys’ walkie talkies, and he has a verbal showdown with Olyphant. You see McClane from the back as he’s walking down a hallway, telling Olyphant how much he’s going to f’ing do this and that to him. It comes off as silly.
One of the things that made the Die hard movies great is that when he’s in these crazy situations, he goes to that crazy place in his head. It’s the place where you fight like a savage animal because if you don’t there’s no way you’re coming out of this alive. McClane never goes to that place in this movie, even when it’s his daughter’s life on the line. And that’s why we don’t have a Die Hard movie here.
On a positive note, I did like Mac Guy as the sidekick. He plays the slacker/hacker well, and he never got too annoying. Kevin Smith, however, felt like product placement designed to get the Clerks crowd into the theater. His Warlock character was he typical paint by numbers geek living in his mom’s basement, and the movie could have done without him. The whole side trek to visit him felt forced.
The only extra on the disc is a commentary by Bruce Willis, director Len Wiseman, and editor Nicolas De Toth. To get the good stuff you’d have to buy the collector’s edition. I guess they thought the extra blood and cuss words were enough to round out the special features in this edition.
Overall, Live Free or Die Hard is a good action movie that falls well short of the previous entries in the series. Go back and watch the first couple if you want to see John McClane visit that crazy place in his head that made the previous Die Hard Movies great.
3 out of 5 Edited F-bombs